Humorous musings
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A nun, a hot blonde, a German and a Frenchman are sitting in a train compartment.
They don‘t know each other and are minding their own business. The train drives into a tunnel and it gets so dark in the compartment that you could not see your own hand in front of your eyes.Suddenly a violently loud slapping noise rips into the silence. When the train leaves the tunnel everyone can see that the Frenchman is rubbing his cheek twisted with pain. Since they couldn‘t see what exactly happened, there is nothing but awkward silence and everyone just makes up his own mind on the matter.
The nun thinks to herself: „Almighty! That lusty Frenchman saw his chance to inappropriately touch that blonde woman and consequently she slapped his face. May god forgive them both!“
The hot blonde thinks to herself: „Oh. My. Gawd. That French bastard must have tried to touch my t*ts but accidentally groped the nun because he couldn’t see. But it seems like she took the proper revenge! You go girl!“
The Frenchman thinks to himself: „Mon Dieu! That German bastard groped the blonde woman while it was dark and then she accidentally slapped ME for it!“
The German guy thinks: „Perfekt! In ze next tunnel I‘ll slap ze French guy again!“
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A French, a German and an Italian spy are captured one day.
The captors grab the French spy, take him to the next room and tie his hands behind a chair.They then proceed to torture him for 2 hours before he finally cracks, answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets.The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.
They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 hours go by and the spy isn’t talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.
The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.
The Italian spy says, ” I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands.”
