@Alice-J said in switched to brown rice, cut back granulated sugar, increased vegetable (even raw) intake:
@Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
I used to follow you on the RPF and often do here also. I think I was meant to see this one of your latest posts tonight. You so kindly and sensitively corresponded with me about four years ago when I reached out for help with anorexia and orthorexia. My user name on the RPF was Tilly-J, but that was all a long time ago. Sadly and wearingly and deeply frustratingly I still struggle a lot, but now only with the orthorexia part of my 'madness'.
Potatoes have been calling me for some time, but I cannot find a way to easily and comfortably incorporate them into my current diet which is still high dairy (milk only) with eggs, white meat, fruit (many dates and bananas) and white rice. I am very hesitant to ask, but would you be comfortable in sharing how you fit in your about 1 kilo of small potatoes, how you combine them with other foods (if you do), what your meals now look like etc.? I feel very hesitant in asking. Of course I know that I will never heal until I have the courage to listen to, and follow, my body's own unique dietary requirements, but it can be so reassuring to see what others (whom one trusts) do, and notice that they thrive on their choices, as this post of yours makes so clear. I am not thriving.
The fears of orthorexia can be paralysing. I live with the insatiable hunger which can often arise, I think, when trying to refeed oneself out of an eating disorder. Of course the message here is that my 2400 daily calories are still not enough. I do know that you have never experienced anorexia or orthorexia. It is precisely your courage to listen to, and act upon, your body's dietary needs and desires which has kept me following the many elegant, tempting and of course healing diets you have created for yourself over quite a number of years - following with so much longing to be free myself (even just a bit more free!) around food.
I so much hope that I have not asked too personal a question and am sorry indeed if I have. I remain a bit desperate. Thank you for reading my message. Most especially, I am so pleased for you that you are no longer experiencing the PTSD attacks associated with the passing of your Mum whom I remember you supported so soul-fully over many years.
With my best wishes.
Aww…Tilly. Yes, of course, I remember you. I’m saddened to learn that you’re still struggling. My heart goes out to you. ️ Thank you for your kind words. You’re correct that I have never experienced anorexia, but I grew up with a parent who had a history of eating disorders, in a society where restriction was, and sadly still is, glorified, and had painful digestive issues since birth so I’ve experienced anxiety surrounding food. I never would have believed the doctors, supposed experts and theories that guided my dietary choices in the past, over my own inner guidance, my own better judgment, had I not.
I’m not a professional, but I feel strongly that eating disorders are an outlet for anxiety, that we channel our anxiety into something we feel we can control, in this case dietary habits, in an attempt to relieve it. I think if we have a pulse, even the healthiest of us will experience anxiety, so I don’t seek to eliminate it completely from my life but to channel it into healthier outlets—for me, that’s mainly hiking. After a series of tragedies, the last blow being the loss of my mum, my best friend, on the trail was the only place I felt like life hadn’t left me behind. It was the only place I felt like I was still an active participant, immersed in the world of nature, witnessing God, really, and not just some bystander.
Anyhow, there’s a lot that can be said on the topic, but I don’t want to hijack the thread so if you want to join us in the Cooking with Jennifer thread that Mossy started, I just tagged you in a post where I listed my diet, for you :):
https://bioenergetic.forum/topic/9142/cooking-with-jennifer/14
