@aeblyve Yeah. There does seem to be still too much serotonin and perhaps a smidge of PTSD.
Although I appreciate your need to make a living and ambition in your field.
Hmmm. How to find a balance.
With regards to being solicited for money, I had to do something about that too. Panhandlers are not that aggressive in NYC, where we were living. They are a little more far gone and you can just walk passed them and they don't persist. When we moved to downtown Chicago, I was stunned at how aggressive and persistent the panhandlers and people with clipboards were. 1) I changed my body composition with aikido. That postural change made them either skip over me or not persist. 2) I know this sounds mean, but this is the other extremely effective thing I learned to do to squelch them. As soon as they start their first syllable, I say, "can't help ya out" while keep moving. And don't look back. Sometimes you hear them say, "Geez", or "your shit don't stink" or "what a bitch." But mostly they just skip to the next person. If you walk in a lupine manner and say "can't help ya out" without skipping a beat in your pace, you will not be solicited.
I would recommend buying Diamant from idealabs.com. While sitting at your computer, you can rub in a few drops on your temple or jugular. Wow. Then go for a walk and see all the beautiful colors. Regardless of your schedule, you simply have to take time to walk in the sunshine. Imagine you have a dog that needs walk. You can afford to take several 5 minute walks a day. Go get a coffee. Say hello to shop owners.
