Stuck in Fight/Flight/Freeze mode - Is there a way out?
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Hey! I'm a 22 year old guy who has been stuck in fight/flight/freeze mode for years. This started during high school when I was consuming fast food daily along with taking SSRIs. During that time, I had severe gut issues, social anxiety, and self esteem issues, so I also took Accutane, which worsened my gut issues, anxiety, and depression. On top of that, I was dealing with severe ADD.
Fast forward a few months, I started relying on nicotine and caffeine to get through the day and cope with a society that clearly wasn’t made for people like me. I noticed that whenever I used caffeine and nicotine, my heart rate would spike to 150 bpm, but over time, I got used to this adrenaline fueled state. After graduating high school with very poor grades, my anxiety became so debilitating that all I wanted to do was sit in my room and watch movies. I lost my friends, and i never socialized which naturally worsened my social anxiety. During this time, I went outside maybe one day a month, just to accompany my parents to the grocery store. Once inside a store my heart rate would skyrocket, the bright lights would make my eyes water, and I could barely walk properly. I realized how destructive isolation was, as it only worsened the damage I had already experienced. I currently live with my parents in the middle of a forest, miles away from a small city which make matters even worse. I also have severe circadian rhythm issues, likely due to the 8 years that i took 3 mg of melatonin daily while growing up. It feels like my body barely produces melatonin on its own now and i go to sleep around 7am and sleep for around 12 hours everyday and wake up feeling like shit.
After years of using nicotine and caffeine, I noticed that I became completely apathetic and detached from reality. Substances stopped affecting me altogether. It felt like my nervous system had completely crashed. I could drink half a liter of vodka in one go and barely feel it (while still being in complete control). I tried using extremely strong nicotine pouches and felt nothing. Life became empty, and I had zero natural dopamine production. This is when I believe I completely entered freeze mode.
Realizing my life was going nowhere, I decided to make some changes. I started studying to improve my grades so I could hopefully get into college which hopefully would make me relearn how to live,socialize make friends. Along with this, I decided to quit nicotine and caffeine entirely. I managed to stay clean for 100 days but relapsed after failing my studies.
The stress from studying made things worse, as it required socializing with strangers. After years of isolation, I had lost the ability to interact with people, which only amplified my anxiety. During the time i studied people around me could tell that something was off. From the outside, I probably came across as neurotic and really unintelligent. I tried to get out of my comfort zone by talking to a person in my class, but the words that came out of my mouth made no sense and the person looked at me like i was crazy. Even when I'm at home completely alone I struggle to talk coherently. It seems like being stuck in an adrenalized state 24/7 severely impacts my cognitive functioning, to the point where I struggle to form coherent sentences, let alone hold a conversation.
It’s ironic because I used to be extremely extroverted as a child, and I believe that part of me is still there somewhere, because I occasionally have days of clarity when I experience no speech issues and overall feel social. It's also incredibly easy for me to tell when I'm stressed, as the vagus nerve is constantly visible beside my neck, especially when lying down.
I believe inflammation & diet plays a huge role in my struggles. I have only been eating fast food for these past years because I don’t have the energy to cook. Over the years, I’ve researched the ideal Anti-Stress diet and came up with this. Ruminant meat, White Potatoes, Milk, Butter, Berries, Mineral water. However, I relapse after only a few days of trying to stick to it. The diet could possibly help reduce stress hormones due to the extreme nutrient density of vitamins, minerals, such as magnesium, calcium potassium which should help. I just don't know if it would work in practice. Perhaps this and trying to fix circadian rhythm by going to bed and waking up at the same time everyday, quitting all forms of stress-inducing substances, nicotine, caffeine?, going for walks in nature could help?
Honestly, I’m ready to give up on life, I just feel so shit, i'm 22 years old, wasted my whole youth, I have no friends, never had a relationship, job. I literally know nothing about life whatsoever. I don't know if I can recover or if i even have the energy to give it a try, Perhaps my nervous system has been permanently damaged, given the circumstances? I really struggle to see a way out of this miserable state of constant anxiety, depression, stress so that's why I'm asking you guys. Is there a way out of this, if so how?
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eat enough. avoid pufa. try and get regular sleep schedule. keep smoking cigs and drinking coffee or energy drinks or whatever if you want to. listen to how you feel and don't stop evolving. bonus points if you start supplementing thyroid or taking progesterone, biggest needle movers in way of reducing stress hormone for me
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@iwbhod said in Stuck in Fight/Flight/Freeze mode - Is there a way out?:
Substances stopped affecting me altogether. It felt like my nervous system had completely crashed. I could drink half a liter of vodka in one go and barely feel it (while still being in complete control). I tried using extremely strong nicotine pouches and felt nothing. Life became empty, and I had zero natural dopamine production. This is when I believe I completely entered freeze mode.
It could be quite simple. I've made myself mildly hypovolemic to this kind of effect quite a few times 'experimentally'.
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It doesn’t sound fancy but just eating regular balanced meals throughout the day is the main way out. Reverse diet to find a good high maintenance calorie and be consistent.
You don’t have to rely on reheating potatoes all the time either. Add in more sugar sources like from fruits, dried and juiced.
