Jokes compendium

At a White House administration briefing, Donald Rumsfeld has bad news: "Mr. President, three Brazilian soldiers died yesterday while assisting U.S. forces. George W. Bush throws his hands up in horror and says "Oh, no..." After a while he looks up again and asks: "How many is a brazillion?"

harry5

@Norwegian-Mugabe said in Jokes compendium:

Jokes compendium
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Norwegian Mugabe
31 Jan 2024, 12:09

Smiling and laughing are extremely healthy.

Please post jokes that you like.

“All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.” ― Woody Allen

N

2 Replies Last reply 1 Feb 2024, 09:02
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Great reminder about the power of laughter, Norwegian Mugabe! Here's a classic one I love: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! Hope that brings a smile! Also, for anyone looking for more laughs, I found a trusted site packed with funny puns that always keeps me chuckling: https://allfunnypuns.com/. Keep the jokes coming, everyone!

ThinPicking

Harry Five is alive.

Luke

A social scientist, a physicist and a mathematician are traveling by train through Ireland when they see a black sheep.

The social scientist says “Look, all sheep in Ireland are black”. The physicist says “You can't generalize that. You can only say that there is at least one black sheep in Ireland”. The mathematician replies “But you can't generalize that either. You can only say that there is at least one sheep in Ireland that looks black if you look at it from at least one side”.

Luke

A Czech goes to the eye doctor. On a board there is the letter combination ZCHYKMCZHKSCH. The eye doctor points to it and says: “Could you please read this line?” The Czech says: “What do you mean, read it. I know that guy.”

Norwegian Mugabe

@harry5 Thank you. I wish you all the best sir.

My favourite German joke:

A Polish travel agent goes to a hotel for breakfast on a Friday. He asks if they serve cold coffee, but they don’t.
The Pole returns the next day and asks again if they serve cold coffee for breakfast. They reply, "No, but we serve warm coffee or water."
On Sunday morning, the Polish travel agent comes back and asks the hotel waiter if they, by any chance, serve cold coffee for breakfast. The waiter smiles and says, "Yes, we have ready-made cold coffee for you, sir." The Pole then asks if they can reheat it.

please put out more jokes!

Shar_to_the_dae

A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him to the pub for his first pint.
He takes a sip and BOOM - his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM - his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he's hit by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
What a shame" his dad said. He should have quit while he was a head."

uniquelye878

Growing up, I watched Chandler Bing throw out Funny puns like it was second nature. It wasn’t just the puns or jokes; but how casually he dropped them in regular conversations.