How do I not play the victim?
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I'm 17 I have ocd, low testosterone and sleep apnea which I will get jaw surgery to fix in a couple years. (possible hypo too)
My dad and mom are both hypo and my family is the average drone of the totalirian regime(satire).
They believe all the mass media has to say and eat le pufa and feed them to me and siblings.
Although I do not blame them it is understandable that it is easy to become blind nowadays when access to outside media is very limited.
I often get scared and sad and hopeless like my family is doomed to die among the plebs.
Breathing in whatever metals are spayed in the air as we sleep and being in our entertainment pods not speaking to each other....
However for however much I blame my family for my problems there is something to be said about my own personal merit.
I resent my mom for ignoring her problems and not doing anything about them but that is exactly what I hate in my self.
I hate my dad for pushing all his relationships away and telling himself that he is a failure but that is exactly what I do. Now again I do want to blame them for their shortcomings i.e. lack of critical thinking , apathetic about their health and what I just listed above but I do think we can heal together
Maybe this is the learned helpless or something.
I just need to win once.
I'm scared but I will be brave.
I'm trying to get in touch with god too. -
@gg12 have you tried the carrot salad?
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Yeah that's definitely learned helplessness bro. You're right in the middle of it.
Best thing you could probably do short of moving out (which of course nowdays can be a monumental feat, especially young) is to start making money in a way that isn't too stressful like a part time barista job or something and using the money to make your own meals and snacks so don't have to rely on potentially unhealthy foods being given to you.
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@gg12 I agree with Milk Destroyer. You need a sense of agency in your life. Getting a job could help with that plus allow you to experiment with peaty sups to try and find something that works for you.
You seem to be putting the locus of control outside of yourself. You have a lot of agency to change your situation, not entirely but you can definitely put yourself into a better situation if you work on what you can control, which is yourself. If you get to a good place, you may be able to influence your family to see wisdom in changes that you make in your own life
Try getting sunlight and regular moderate exercise (long walks), mild lifting. Try following principles laid out by ray peat in podcasts. Also, try picking up a Bible if you want to connect with God. The ball is in your court. You can't fail (as long as you do a little each day to improve yourself).
You don't need to be perfect or even great. Just try to get a little better at improving your health and environment the best that you can each day. Life is not a race, and you don't have to have it all figured out. A little each day makes a big difference. You only have the power to change yourself.
These are all just keys to get you out of the learned helplessness mindset. Be well
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