@sneedful yeah it is cringe i am for sure brainwashed in some way… i dont know… im not so sure what the purpose of this post was… if im honest another reason i dont engage some times is because i really dislike myself… and i cant rid myself certain beliefs that fuel this really poor self esteem…

I feel so fucking lonely… but I bring this upon myself to some extent because of how uncomfortable I am in society (especially the uni community I’m in )… I cant relate with anyone around me nor do I share any interests or even values with those around me… so i never engage… by choice… because i dont want to with these people… not because I think im better, in fact i am extremely flawed… i just feel like most people are so brainwashed nowadays, plugged into ‘the system’…and good for them… most of these people seem quite comfortable in their existence but yeah … to them i’d just come off as crazy, ridiculous, inappropriate etc… i was just wondering if anyone experiences anything like this? feeling so lonely but ironically isolating yourself… when i see gatherings… or a bunch of students hanging out having a good time… i dont wish i was a part of that group… because im me and i know i wouldnt be interested… but at the same time… i long for meaningful human connection and interaction… i dont know what the point of this post is… but I’m just feeling incredibly alone at the moment and feel like the people who end up on this niche forum are possibly more like me than different…

@Jennifer
The thing is , the only ‘clean’ ice cream i have access to is haagen dazs and i can only afford to buy 2 one pint containers a week.
Also, yeah incredibly anxious about gaining weight it’s not so much the number on the scale… but more just poor body composition…

This might be silly to some… but I get very paranoid but everyone around me does and it just seems incredibly convenient. Is there any good reason to avoid heating milk by microwaving it?

@DavidPS In theory this makes sense, but ive tried this intentionally myself and
a)it’s very inconvenient to my lifestyle
b)my appetite is always better later in the day
c)eating so much in the morning just doesnt feel good because im stressed all day and dont feel like i can enter a parasympathetic mode to comfortably digest my food (i feel so much anxiety throughout the day because of all the work im supposed to get done… i find myself always waiting for sundown)
d) even when i try to eat more during the day… im never any less hungry in the evening… im just as hungry at night whether i had 2 to 3 square meals beforehand or barely had much…

@Mossy Yeah like you said, the issue with eating just fats and carbs and lots of them would prbbly be a disaster in terms weight gain

@Jennifer yeah, for some reason eating more during the day never seems to help my hunger at night. Ive intentionally tried this to see if id desire to eat even a little less at night… but no noticeable difference what so ever… and the problem with ice cream is that i would need A LOT of ice cream before i feel full… it’s not exactly a filling food i think my past habit of ‘volume eating’ has conditioned me to seek that physical ‘fullness’ sensation which is so hard to achieve with calorie dense easy to digest foods. But then your typical high volume foods aren’t exactly the friendliest on digestion (popcorn, yogurt with lots of fruit, certain veggies, smoothies to name a few)

im insatiable in the evening… and i always end up binge eating and really upsetting my gut and digestion and as a result get pretty poor sleep… i feel quite guilty that i keep uncontrollably making this mistake despite making it a goal not to

I was just wondering if anyone has some ideas of foods/meals that are safe to eat a large amount of in the evenings. I dont know why but i can never seem to achieve that ‘satisfied’ feeling post meal… its either ‘im still hungry’ or ‘i ate so much im so uncomfortable and wish i could throw up’

I cant seem to curb my hunger and want to replace my binges with things that would satisfy me, not irritate my gut, and not make me feel gross. I’d appreciate any input especially from those who’ve experienced something like this

@LetTheRedeemed I know i just never seem to enjoy things i try to for myself for some reason… because im always holding back when im involved in the making of my food… also… i don’t necessarily intentionally restrict my calories that low… my disordered eating aside… it’s because im so bloated and constipated all the time… that makes it so hard for me to eat throughout the day… like… for example… despite eating that little… im up in the middle of the night right now (woke up from my sleep) because how uncomfortably bloated I am… my intestines feel so swollen (feel so tender when pressed with my fingers), i feel so backed up my throat feels constricted…. i have that ‘about to vomit’ feeling but never do… sorry if this is tmi but it’s even difficult for me to pass gas let alone a bowel movement… and this is just another major reason it’s impossible for me to eat more while feeling this way.

@Tarzan17 For instance… I managed to refrain from bingeing tonight… first time in the last 2 weeks.., but im at around 1250 cals for the day… it obviously doesn’t feel right … and im really hungry… and im fantasizing about food… especially food i can probably never allow myself to enjoy again… just because i know how how metabolically damaging they can be (oh to eat a donut.. or some fries) … but this sure beats going to bed bloated and uncomfortable and guilty… and ill just go to bed now and hopefully sleep through it.., and feel better having breakfast tmrw… what’s scary though, is how aware I am of what these days eventually lead up to… another uncontrollable binge… it’s only a matter of when… and that’s terrifying because life turns into hell when that happens …