Posts made by IkeIkeforever

Went for a walk to the library today. It felt good to walk, but I grew more and more depressed as I kept walking. Trash everywhere, poor people everywhere, sub-humans everywhere, closed shops everywhere. Kind of forgot about it when I started reading.

I felt like I was about to cry when I was nearing home. No future, no opportunities, constant poverty. I still want to annihilate everything, but I also want to fight for a just cause. Sadly, there's no such thing where I live. Ray's works on learned helplessness bogled my mind. I don't want to just die, I want to fight.

It feels like I've been fighting for my own life all this time. All this effort can't be in vain...

@peatlegal Sadly not...but there is an university cursus that would allow me to study and learn Japanese. It's 1 300 euros though, so I would need to work to be able to join this class. Good reason to try harder to find a job...

Thanks for the info on Progesterone ! I'll try to buy some when I get the money, since I suppose I'll have to pay a crazy tax fee to pay customs...

Going back on the needed mindset to improve/setting goals.

I didn't say it in my original post, but I've been learning Japanese for two weeks now in autodidact with a book. I have to say that after today's session, I feel good. I'm really glad to have held on on learning a new language despite the mental state in which I was in (I'm still far from being in a really good state of mind, but I already kind of feel better) . Now, thinking about the satisfaction I get after finishing a lesson and its exercices is one of the things that really keeps me going.

Thanks for the insights samson ! I'll read the articles you've sent me.

Hahaha yeah I remember the story about the old Ray Peat Forum...shame that charlie started to push some kind of vitamin A/low-toxin diet right after Peat's death. He even banned any one saying that his views were wrong right ? Horrible, horrible man...

Sorry if I keep messing up the "reply" and "quotes" functions, I'm still not used to the U.I of this website...

@samson Thanks for answering

I live in Europe ! What does cynomel do to support the body ? I don't know much about progesterone, wouldn't it be kind of dangerous to take it just like that, without knowing what I really have ? People on my topic have been talking about hypothyroid, or guts/liver/gallblader issues...I'll look into what progesterone is, and what it can do for me. Many thanks.

Alright, thanks Corngold.

I've listened to very little Wagner in the past, in fact, "Tannhauser Ouverture" is the only work I know from him. I'll look into him.

I also have to add that my skin felt clearer this morning. I don't know if the carrot salad and the orange juice that could be the reason for it, but I suppose it is since it's the only change of diet I've had in the last few days.

My skin is still peeling at some places though, from my cheeks to my brow ridge. I don't think I've seen Peat say anything about skin peeling, but I don't know Aajonus considered this to be a sign of detoxification. Now, I'm not a "just eat real food bro !" advocate, but if skin peeling in the face correlate to gut/liver health, I guess I really have a problem in there. Will try to get my hands on Harleem oil, T3, bamboo shoots as Mauritio said.

@Corngold Thank you for answering !

Hahaha niiice didn't expect a Nails fan to be here ! I've grown really, REALLY fond of Kickback too, with other bands like Hatebreed, Impartial Dismemberment, Tomb Filler...

In the last 3 days, I've completely cut listening to hardcore/metal. If I want to listen to music, I only listen to classical music, ambient, or high-tempo music like Eurobeat, ParaPara, nightcore...this kind of thing...

@gg12 Thank you for your answer.

Sleep apnea ? Wouldn't one of the symptoms of this be me waking up at night ?

I feel decently energized when I'm waking up in the morning, I just so happen to hold my breath during the day, when I'm awake and doing anything (groceries, reading, surfing the web, training...).

I'll still try to check if I have sleep apnea. Many thanks.

And for what you said, about having a vision, it's really hard right now. I live in a place where there is simply no work. And even if I had one, I couldn't possibly buy a place for myself to live in, because the tarrifs are just too high. The best thing would be to get money while still living at my parent's house, but as I said, there's simply no work.

I keep responding to job offers, but now they won't even give me an answer. The offers are just there to make me sign up for temp companies. I keep calling to see if they need someone (I'm forklift certified !) and they always say "no, not for now". It's been like that for a year. I keep hoping for change, but as you've seen, I feel like I'm stuck in some kind of void.

I live in a poor neighborhood, filled with God-only-knows what nationalities the people I'm forced to live with are. There's constant violence, drug-dealing, etc, etc...

@samson thanks for replying !

I go to the restroom I'd say 2-3 times a day, but my feces don't look that consistent. Last time I went they had this clear brown color, and didn't float. It's gross, but if it can help understanding my problem...

I'm on my third day of eating a carrot salad along with a glass of pressed orange juice for breakfast, and have to say that I feel better.

As for the thyroid supplementation, I had bought grass fed dessicated beef liver on nutriest.eu, since I've seen it promotes hair growth (and I wanted to have nice hair at some point). I've stop taking it since I didn't see any change, but it's apparently good for liver health. Nothing on thyroid though.

Do you have any supplementation recommandations ? The grass-fed beef thyroid on nutriest.eu is out of stock at the moment, so if you know of any other good brand/supplement, please let me know !

Also, I've just noticed this habit of mine, but I'm almost always holding my breath. I do it a lot...I suppose it's not good for a proper oxygenation of my body.

Could a lack of O2 be influencing my mood ? Or is me holding my breath without really noticing it more of a craving for CO2 ?

@BroJonas Thank you for your answer !

I'm not very good on the topic of chemistry, but I think I've kind of understand the role of ATP after reading some of the wikipedia page.

I didn't know about it, thanks for telling me. Is there any way to maybe raise the rate of ATP my body is producing ? Or should I just quit doing stuff that often brings serotonin to a high level like sports ?

To avoid brain energy going down (which in my case, feels like it's almost down) the answer to that would simply be...more energy, right ?

Also the first thing I did in the morning was grating a carrot and eating it. I felt more nourished than when I'm eating bread with jam or something like that. It also felt like I wasn't as fulled as hatred as usual. It's only the first day though, so I'll keep eating this to see the results in the long run.

By the way @peatlegal, I used the "look forward to the good times" mentality today, and I have to say it really worked.

I was doing groceries in Lidl (an activity that I hate), and I went "Can't wait to get back home to press some oranges." Simple thoutght, but it really helped me to not be so bitter about everything and everyone in the store. I bought my stuff, went back home, and drank a small glass of hand-pressed orange juice. It felt nice.

Thank you for your advice.

@Shar_to_the_dae Thank you very much for your answer.

Thank you for praying for me, I'll listen to more light-hearted music from now on.

Oops, sorry then ThinPicking, I didn't catch it.

No, I don't really have bowel problems when I'm feeling like that. Howerver, when I wake up I often have some kind of stomach/guts ache. Though I would say it's because I fall asleep on my tummy, it quickly goes away after I'm standing up.

When I'm in my "space", I feel bitter, sometimes with low energy, sometimes with high energy... it really depends.

@Rah1woot and @peatlegal thank you for your answers !

Thank you for the OJ advice Rah1woot, I'll buy myself some tomorrow and I'll juice it myself. Will try to drink at least one glass of fresh OJ per day.

Nice mentality peatlegal, I understand what you mean with the "no scarcity mentality". I grew up in a very frugal family, rarely asking for much more than what was necessary, along with a "never complain" mindset. I started to treat myself more with ice cream (since I love it) recently. I'll think about it.

Again, many thanks for all of your advices.

@ThinPicking Thank you for your answer !

Sorry, but I didn't really catch your question... right now it's 11:30pm, and I'm feeling fine. I ate 800g of Häagen-Dazs, throughout the day, while my lunch consisted of soup and a "galette" (made with goat cheese, honey, and an egg).

I'm still kind of hungry though.

As for my body, I'm a really skinny guy, along with a small frame. I'm 182cm (5'9) tall, I have thick eyebrows that can connect into one if I don't take care of it. (I'm mentionning it because I believe it was Peat that said that thick eyebrows often reveal a quick metabolism). I weight between 75 (165.35 lbs) and 70 kilos (154.32 lbs). Have a lot of scars on my face due to pimples/shaving, and a lot of scars on my back (I believe due to the covid vaccine I was forced to take).

I never ate that much and was never fond of physical exercise since two years ago. I went through my puberty at home, during the covid lockdowns, without doing much sports or eating much (due to a low-income family).

IN SHORT : 182cm (5'9) tall skinny white man (165.35 lbs at most), lived through puberty without eating much and moving much due to the covid lockdown, with scars on my face, scars and pimples on my back (due to the covid vaccine I believe). Ate 800g of Haägen-Dazs today alongside normal hours meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), I'm still hungry right now. Feeling okay and unbothered after chatting with online friends.