Feeling unemotional since Peating. Thoughts?
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@aeblyve Sounds like a loss or lack of dopamine
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I've also noticed it's made me less receptive to software/programming. When I had a limited range of emotions, I would get into a fixation state based on solving logistics problems because it has a structure to it and is a mechanical kind of comfy, but I'm not sure if it was ever fulfilling in and of itself. It's nice when you finally get things to work in a concise manner I suppose. But ultimately it was a mindset shift for me that got me enjoyment -- doing things out of novelty (I want to, it interests me) rather than because of obligation (necessity, fixation).
I remember reading somewhere that there's a section of your brain dedicated to doing things you don't want to do and you probably decreased it significantly (making this up but it sounds real). But if you lowered serotonin and decreased compulsive behavior in you, and your interest in tech decreased with it, it seems your interest in this was more contrived than anything else. You could try a dopamine agonist like lisuride if you wish.
Deadening your heart and withdrawing emotions is protective if you were brought up in an environment that wouldn't have permitted them to develop in a healthy manner, so later you find yourself underdeveloped or "emotionally immature" in the sense you don't know what to do with them. Peating does require a stimulating environment; you can only keep yourself bored or secluded for so long. You might find a newfound appreciation and interest in talking with others. Surrounding yourself with cool people is a pretty good long term change for a stimulating environment.
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@aeblyve Do you take any supplements? Vit K, Vit D, Vit E, aspirin? It might be a low estrogen problem.
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@aeblyve What are your macros like?
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Might want to look into the Tryptophan to Tyrosine ratio. Tyrosine is the precursor to dopamine and Tryptophan the precursor to serotonin and the ratio affects which of the two pathways will become active.
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I'm thinking clear pilled too.
But perhaps there is some low dopamine still. Maybe those neurons have to take some more time to regenerate after being poisoned by serotonin.
Can you go out in the sunshine more? Stare at the sun (blinking and tearing up is fine), such that you feel it on your retina?
When you walk, try to notice a wide variety of things with wonderment: oh this tree has a new branch; that building has a cool ornament; are people out walking dogs? or a dog park?; or a child lot where you can go on swings?
When you are outside, extend your arms out to the sides and wiggle your fingers. Can you see them in your peripheral vision?
Or there community activities? Concert in the park? Art fair. Exercise groups in the park. Sing-alongs? Crafts classes. Or bird watching. Can you hike in nature near where you are? -
Low estrogen actually occurred to me. I once knew an interesting fellow that actually supplemented estrogen (AND testosterone -- not transgender) for the explicit purpose of having more emotions.
I take all of those you mention about once per week.
@dan-dominic
I mostly just drink milk and coffee to be honest. I have little taste for beef but I also have that every so often. Maybe it's a low iron issue? I seem to recall that heme iron plays some role in dopamine synthesis.@Regina
I mostly just stay inside all day and work technology. I'm developing something of a hobby-startup right now, and I'm full-time employed as a sysadmin. Walking outside here is possible but not very comfortable. I don't like being solicited for money, breathing in car exhaust, listening to food-delivery mopeds, and the like.To elaborate, I do work on this startup, but the texture of the experience I have is not like I used to have before. It doesn't help that the work has a lot of "blocking time" where I can't make meaningful progress (waiting on orders, etc) so a flow state is not consistently there. Sometimes I wonder if I've taken on a bit too much lead from the work. x)
@pittybitty
Interesting, I will consider this. -
@aeblyve said in Feeling unemotional since Peating. Thoughts?:
I mostly just drink milk and coffee to be honest.
What about eggs, gelatin, and orange juice?
In my experience, I may feel "not in the flow" or unemotional when I don't provide enough ADEK and B vitamins (from foods or supplements)...
Haidut also often mentions that's good to take a break from daily routine.
If you don't like to go out, do you at least have a red light lamp? And make a break from duties to for example read/watch books or movies unrelated to work?
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What about eggs, gelatin, and orange juice?
I tend to have these whenever my girlfriend is over, since she likes to cook, and this brings her to the grocery store, and this gets me some self-selected variety. She gets a bit concerned whenever I'm just drinking milk and coffee -- whenever I'm living on my own this is what I do, since I don't want to spend time cooking or thinking about food.
Haidut also often mentions that's good to take a break from daily routine.
I have found that taking day trips even to neighboring towns can be extremely stimulating. I have done this recently whilst searching for a new place to live.
In my experience, I may feel "not in the flow" or unemotional when I don't provide enough ADEK and B vitamins (from foods or supplements)...
Doesn't milk supply sufficient numbers of all of those? Maybe not E.
If you don't like to go out, do you at least have a red light lamp?
I do have a red light lamp. I'm a big fan of it.
And make a break from duties to read/watch books or movies unrelated to work?
I don't really have an interest in them, so no. It feels kind of degenerate to be honest. Most of what I can read in a book I can garner from Wikipedia/google, or even an LLM if I don't need to know the details (I used to read very much and was somewhat proud of it then)... movies are just pure "entertainment" with no use-value. Shouldn't we be striving towards a life which is entertaining enough in itself? The word that comes to mind here is "bourgeois", which I think is at odds with the material basis of bioenergetics.
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@aeblyve said in Feeling unemotional since Peating. Thoughts?:
Doesn't milk supply sufficient numbers of all of those? Maybe not E.
Not fully for sure, and it's also dose-dependent. And is too monotonous... Eggs, gelatin, OJ, and liver/oysters/beef (from time to time) are recommended for a good reason.
I have found that taking day trips even to neighboring towns can be extremely stimulating. I have done this recently whilst searching for a new place to live.
It's a very good idea
Shouldn't we be striving towards a life which is entertaining enough in itself? The word that comes to mind here is "bourgeois", which I think is at odds with the material basis of bioenergetics.
Yes, we should, agreed. Maybe I misread your post that you don't like anything beyond hardware/software.
It's good to have a stimulating life from within + from a natural environment. BTW Ray was also a painter and read a lot of books/poetry - for example, those written by William Blake.movies are just pure "entertainment" with no use-value
Not all movies are like this, some (not mainstream) may really make you think/reflect...
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@aeblyve said in Feeling unemotional since Peating. Thoughts?:
a fixation on free software, repairable computer hardware, and the study of low level computing, h
sounds gay anyway
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@CO3 It gives me now the means to feed myself.
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@aeblyve Yeah. There does seem to be still too much serotonin and perhaps a smidge of PTSD.
Although I appreciate your need to make a living and ambition in your field.
Hmmm. How to find a balance.With regards to being solicited for money, I had to do something about that too. Panhandlers are not that aggressive in NYC, where we were living. They are a little more far gone and you can just walk passed them and they don't persist. When we moved to downtown Chicago, I was stunned at how aggressive and persistent the panhandlers and people with clipboards were. 1) I changed my body composition with aikido. That postural change made them either skip over me or not persist. 2) I know this sounds mean, but this is the other extremely effective thing I learned to do to squelch them. As soon as they start their first syllable, I say, "can't help ya out" while keep moving. And don't look back. Sometimes you hear them say, "Geez", or "your shit don't stink" or "what a bitch." But mostly they just skip to the next person. If you walk in a lupine manner and say "can't help ya out" without skipping a beat in your pace, you will not be solicited.
I would recommend buying Diamant from idealabs.com. While sitting at your computer, you can rub in a few drops on your temple or jugular. Wow. Then go for a walk and see all the beautiful colors. Regardless of your schedule, you simply have to take time to walk in the sunshine. Imagine you have a dog that needs walk. You can afford to take several 5 minute walks a day. Go get a coffee. Say hello to shop owners.
