Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7
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@Insomniac said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
This topic is over my head.
Mine too. Welcome to earth.
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@Insomniac said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
Children never fully recover from abuse. Molested girls never seem to have completely normal relationships as adults.
I’m proof the above isn’t true. I was molested as a little girl, suffered neglect, but I don’t entertain dysfunctional relationships. I used to think that my inability to get close to a man was because of the past sexual abuse, but after working tirelessly to overcome trauma, find my voice and treat myself better than the past ever did, I realized I attracted men dominant in distorted, masculine energy and it’s distorted, masculine energy that I can’t get close to. I’m attracted to, and trust, energy in its divine state. My instincts were on point.
In my recovery, I’m a soldier at war, I have broken down walls
I defined, I designed, my recovery
In the sound of the sea, in the oceans of me
I defined, I designed, my recovery ~ James Arthur -
Your statement brims with hope. That people with the strong will to overcome what life would unfairly present to them to their disadvantage, would hang on to loose baggage and allow it to define them. I share that attitude.
However, having lived and seen what most people would do on their own cognizance, I believe they can find the burden they had hard to overcome over their lifetime.
I personally saw and lived through what my dad became from the trauma of his early years, and there was nothing I could do to change that, despite the prayers of our family- my mom and siblings and my dad's closest friends. All we could do was to have compassion for him. It took me the longest to understand him, as much as I believe his heart was good and I gave him an A for effort.
You did well, but I think that you are an exception, and that you do not prove the rule.
Temporal thinking is the faculty that’s
engaged by an enriched environment, but it’s
wrong to call it “thinking,” because it’s simply
the way organisms exist... - Ray Peat Nov 2017 Newsletter -
@Jennifer thanks for posting that cause i know that user’s statement is incorrect and im too lazy to make my own reply to explain why
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@yerrag, I understand. I personally saw and lived through my mum’s trauma from her early years, even watched her die in my arms because of it, but I stand by my comment. I am proof that “children never fully recover from abuse” isn’t true. Some children, many even, but not all as Insomniac’s statement implies. Just like it was our parent’s choice to overcome their past, it was our choice to overcome ours and our parent’s and the collective’s/society’s by extension. We can lead a horse to water with the intention of having it drink, but what if it doesn’t believe it can drink because all the other horses don’t believe they can drink so they don’t? Thank God for all the exceptions breaking the rule.
In my recovery, I’m a soldier at war, I have broken down walls
I defined, I designed, my recovery
In the sound of the sea, in the oceans of me
I defined, I designed, my recovery ~ James Arthur -
@sneedful, you’re welcome.
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I have had traumas all my life on all levels.
After several years of studying bioenergetics and intensive experimentation, while working on the brain, I have come to the point where I am immune to disturbing thoughts and other people's opinions and thoughts like steel.
There is a bubble of inner resilience around me, instead of a bubble made up of my environment, where any part that moves in it will make a hole in the bubble.
Everything is possible and in retrospect, it's not difficult at all when someone with sufficient experience and knowledge explains exactly what to do and why - and that's what I'm doing today for others.
A significant part of the process is to understand how the human brain works, both in terms of beliefs and thoughts and also in terms of neurotransmitters and hormones, because once you understand this, you can understand the motive of each person's actions.
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I had the best childhood my poor parents could ever give me, not a single traumatic memory, I was a happy kid, but a bit unstimulated. My puberty years were so bad I was mentally and physically stunted, now I'm nothing like my old self.
Based on this experience, I'd say you can recover from a bad childhood just as you can completely destroy the benefits of a very good childhood, but who knows, it's easier to destroy something than to fix it, especially when it comes to biology.
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I believe it must be a strong combination of "hormone games" (and neurotransmitters) to understand at a high level their effect on our feelings and thoughts, while constantly examining our thinking and feelings, until we reach a point where we simply understand well enough how the human brain works and then every action that another person has performed or is performing, you can understand where it comes from and not link it to you.
If anything, feel sorry for that person and even try to help him. And of course it is required at the same time to achieve an optimal metabolic rate. Without an optimal metabolic rate and low serotonin, emotion will easily take over us
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@sharko Nicely put. Zen, if I were to encapsulate it in one word.
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@Insomniac said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
In my case I had attempted to block out my past and focus on things like chemicals, hormones, environmental toxins, food, light and exercise but ironically ignoring my past was not helpful to moving forward because it should be involved in your search for solutions.
In my experience "getting sceletons out of the closet" i.e. understanding my traumas and accepting them was a beneficial moment/process in my life. It got me solid ground to try to get past them to some extent and try to build on them... Like being more in control of myself (with the help of psychology and biology) and understanding better how humans perceive reality. It helped me to stop being a normie/midwit i.e get out of the Matrix
Moreover, for example, I used my tendencies for anxiety and pessimistic outlook to become a specialist in risk management, etc. -
@Jennifer said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
We can lead a horse to water with the intention of having it drink, but what if it doesn’t believe it can drink because all the other horses don’t believe they can drink so they don’t? Thank God for all the exceptions breaking the rule.
Yes, is so well said. I noticed that some of my friends are willing to improve and some will do everything to avoid facing their demons... and stay being a (traumatized) normie - with their mantra - next time I will do the same but better...
Panta rhei... | Liberté 🏴 | It depends... ;-)
A little Learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian Spring:
~Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism -
@yerrag Exactly
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@Kvirion said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
@Jennifer said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
We can lead a horse to water with the intention of having it drink, but what if it doesn’t believe it can drink because all the other horses don’t believe they can drink so they don’t? Thank God for all the exceptions breaking the rule.
Yes, is so well said. I noticed that some of my friends are willing to improve and some will do everything to avoid facing their demons... and stay being a (traumatized) normie - with their mantra - next time I will do the same but better...
I’ve noticed the same thing among my friends and family. As much as I wish it weren’t the case, I can understand their resistance to facing trauma. Not only is it painful to relive, it can be overwhelming when starting the process of healing only to realize that it’s not just our own trauma we are having to overcome, but generational and societal trauma too so I applaud anyone who attempts it because they aren’t just healing themselves, they’re healing the collective. I like to think of it as reweaving the web of life. Each of us are a strand in it so what we do to ourselves we do to the web and what we do to the web we do to ourselves.
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@Insomniac said in Why it's hard to overcome a bad childhood. Dr. Lipton explains that 95% of our operational programming is completed by age 7:
In my case I had attempted to block out my past and focus on things like chemicals, hormones, environmental toxins, food, light and exercise but ironically ignoring my past was not helpful to moving forward because it should be involved in your search for solutions.
Same here. I focused on all the same things and aside from exercise, they only served as a distraction. What helped me most was adopting a self-love practice and release work. First, I got a picture of myself as a little girl and made a promise to her that I would do better by her, now that I knew better, and would have her back no matter what. Then I grieved. I grieved everything I had lost like my innocence, a childhood and my best friend. If you’ve ever grieved, you know that it comes on in waves of emotions and mine was mostly rage that needed to be released or else consume me—trauma got my past, but I was damned if it was getting my future—so I expressed it through non-destructive ways such as punching my mattress, screaming in the shower and climbing the stairs in my house. I think the gentleness of feminine energy is so healing, but sometimes healing requires the proactive and goal-oriented nature of masculine energy so climbing the stairs with the goal of climbing mountains again, something I hadn’t been able to do since my spine collapsed, was a powerful way of transmuting the energy of trauma.
I had a log on the old Ray Peat Forum where I documented my recovery, shared very personal things about myself like the molestation, and I had written up a final update I never posted before leaving that touched on this very topic. Coming from someone who is on the other side of trauma, perhaps my words will be of comfort to those still in the thick of it. If we have the courage to see our healing through to the end, trauma reveals to us what we’re made of. There is a reason why we suppress things, and when you’ve stacked up enough fed-ups and gathered the kind of strength it takes to face the phantom—your trauma—you regain your power and see the force to be reckoned with that you were designed to be. This place is not for cowards, and having survived hell, you are dangerous. You are a threat to the status quo. You are no longer easily abused, manipulated or quick to blame yourself. You are also a beacon of light for others who are where you once were. You aren’t a victim, you’re a miracle.
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