Hating everything everywhere all at once
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Thanks for the insights samson ! I'll read the articles you've sent me.
Hahaha yeah I remember the story about the old Ray Peat Forum...shame that charlie started to push some kind of vitamin A/low-toxin diet right after Peat's death. He even banned any one saying that his views were wrong right ? Horrible, horrible man...
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Going back on the needed mindset to improve/setting goals.
I didn't say it in my original post, but I've been learning Japanese for two weeks now in autodidact with a book. I have to say that after today's session, I feel good. I'm really glad to have held on on learning a new language despite the mental state in which I was in (I'm still far from being in a really good state of mind, but I already kind of feel better) . Now, thinking about the satisfaction I get after finishing a lesson and its exercices is one of the things that really keeps me going.
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@IkeIkeforever Have you looked into whether there are any free/low cost places you could take Japanese classes in person where you live? Easier said than done, I know, but you might really get something out of doing the activities you're enjoying alongside other people. Language classes are an excellent place to meet people in a natural, engaging way. You're all struggling through something together, and that sometimes produces a comradely feeling. Also, the instructors are often from elsewhere, and then you get to meet interesting people with varied life experience/backgrounds. Just a thought. It sounds as though you are being very diligent with your diet and health and may want to incorporate gradual environmental changes in a complementary way.
Ray Peat always talked about the importance of finding like-minded people with whom you can share a sense of reality--a tall order in the hell world we're living in, but ya never know what new and interesting humans are out there. At the very least, you know they're not in your house.
Also, progesterone is very safe, especially in small doses, and RP consistently recommended it to everyone, for just about everything. It has a calming, stabilizing effect and might be helpful if (like me) you're dealing with trying to tip the scale away from serotonin and toward dopamine. You could always try just a tiny bit and see how you do--easier and safer than experimenting with thyroid, IMO. Just make sure you're getting it from a very good source. I'd recommend idealabs or Kenogen.
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@peatlegal Sadly not...but there is an university cursus that would allow me to study and learn Japanese. It's 1 300 euros though, so I would need to work to be able to join this class. Good reason to try harder to find a job...
Thanks for the info on Progesterone ! I'll try to buy some when I get the money, since I suppose I'll have to pay a crazy tax fee to pay customs...
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Went for a walk to the library today. It felt good to walk, but I grew more and more depressed as I kept walking. Trash everywhere, poor people everywhere, sub-humans everywhere, closed shops everywhere. Kind of forgot about it when I started reading.
I felt like I was about to cry when I was nearing home. No future, no opportunities, constant poverty. I still want to annihilate everything, but I also want to fight for a just cause. Sadly, there's no such thing where I live. Ray's works on learned helplessness bogled my mind. I don't want to just die, I want to fight.
It feels like I've been fighting for my own life all this time. All this effort can't be in vain...
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@IkeIkeforever said in Hating everything everywhere all at once:
I've also been listening to lots of negative and harsh music in the past month.
Hardcore, Deathcore, or albums like "Abandon all life" by Nails.Listening to one joy division song in the morning can put me in a bad mood for the whole day.
I prescribe you a minimum of 5 listens per day to Pharrell Williams' classic, "Happy," for the next 2 weeks.
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@IkeIkeforever Hm. I don't know what to tell you. I think you need some kind of Work in your life (easier said than done). Not necessarily a formal job but something productive that you're intentionally doing and are good at. You can't build a good life out of solipsistic observation of others, "Catcher in the Rye" style. You will find no hidden secrets at the public library. It would be best to drop that whole flaneur thing for a while and get down to work.
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Love your hatred because it's sacred. I have used my hatred to be built like a Greek God. Hatred is the great in-equalizer. People always ask me how I built this body, and I tell them that I carry sacred hate in my heart. The caterpillars have been instructed to keep my body as a monument to life's potential.
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@ThinPicking said in Mortality in the United States, 2023:
I wonder where oncogenesis really begins.
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Hey everyone, just wanted to give you all a little update on my situation :
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I found a job in a warehouse. I'm a real forklifter now ! Having an income, and something to do of my days really changed my mood. The pay is bad, but I've been doing this for a month and a half now, and I have to say that I'm starting to get jacked. It feels good.
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I cannot believe how great the carrot salad and the orange juice work. It's not even funny to have such a simple solution to a problem I would never thought I'd get rid of. Thanks to all of those who gave me not medical advice. There are still days where I'm feeling down, but I don't feel as helpless as before.
That's mainly it haha
I still have some problems (I often feel out of breath, as if my lungs can't fill up properly, and my left eyelid has been twitching a lot recently), but seeing how active the Peat community is, I'd really like to try to find out about the solutions myself, searching through the old RPF and reading Peat's articles.
Thank you everyone !
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I feel like a tiger !! Always showing my canines, ready to pounce !!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!! hahahaha
I just feel good. But I still feel like I could feel even better. I know it's good to know when to stop, but I can't help but feel deep inside of me that I could go further, being the absolute best version of myself
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@IkeIkeforever amazing! thanks for sharing
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@IkeIkeforever said in Hating everything everywhere all at once:
I just feel good. But I still feel like I could feel even better. I know it's good to know when to stop, but I can't help but feel deep inside of me that I could go further, being the absolute best version of myself
I think the "best version" is the right trajectory to tap into. I am struggling with that.
I don't like being a "special snowflake," but it's kind of ridiculous how bad alcohol or most easy foods make us feel hours or days later. It's very hard to balance breaking out of what I would say is actual healthy self-preservation via the Peatarianisticsm protocols, and, the "world out there" with its total incoherence. So I'm just saying be careful.
I feel like I was riding a wave and fixing things and getting energy, and then Christmas-time kind of wrecked things, and though my energy is still generally better, I wonder if too much energy causes something like mania. The natural backlash is depression.
My critique of Peating TM is that energy increases and decreases. One must work with it and not see it unilaterally as something that must always be increasing.
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So good to hear!
