Lost the spark of life
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I have spent the last several years of my life peating, mostly in an attempt to gain back what I have lost. For some context, even before Covid I wasn’t always in the best spot. I had some pretty severe childhood trauma, health issues and misguidance. Despite all of that, I managed to become somewhat successful on paper, tho never in my own mind. When covid rolled around I get heavy on the weed. Essentially frying my brain for 8 months before one day I pretty much had a panic attack where I passed out. Ever since then I feel like the curiosity and sense of adventure I had at my healthiest points has just vanished in to thin air. before Covid I had a girlfriend who broke my heart into thinking I’d never love someone the way I loved her again. I’ve dated and told girls I love them but I can’t say it with the conviction I told it to her. I’m dating a girl now who is awesome and pretty much all I could ask for but I just feel nothing and I know it’s all my fault. I’ve thrown all of the supplements at it. I lack confidence and discipline. I’m angry and joyless. The things that brought me purpose and happiness are just things I do now. There’s so reaction. I hardly even get angry at things unless I know I’m supposed to. True joy and happiness are these delaying concepts that I can only imagine how I would feel if I were to feel those things. I know how I’m supposed to feel about things so I act like how I think I would if I actually felt that way as to not look like a robot. I’m not even depressed. Just apathetic about everything. And I hate that, because that’s not who I am. I’ve had incredible experiences on LSD but even micro doses just seem to make me dissociate. I’m just lost. This was more of a vent but if anyone has gone through this before and came out the other side I’m all ears. I’d like to experience life again before I get put in the ground some day.
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Possibly anhedonia, but don't allow me to put ideas in your head.
Do you have access to the Ray Peat forum? If so then plug the term Anhedonia into the search bar then check off "search titles and first posts only". Check out what others have had to say about it and see if it fits your condition.
Be forewarned that the forum has changed, so if you start a thread there you may get flooded with bad advice to cease Vit-A intake, along with a bunch of other helpful substances, and they won't back it up with genuine or applicable research.
I see the part about your past, that seems to be enough to go downhill metabolically, but i will ask, have you taken any hairloss products that have Finasteride as an ingredient?
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Quick comment
Different perspectiveAfter COVID
We SHOULD be differentIf one is not
One is not paying attention -
@BioEclectic nope. No finasteride. Hair shedding is an issue tho. Just know enough now to stay away from the stuff.
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@BioEclectic I agree. Just wish it wasn’t in such a negative way.
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@bigdeuce said in Lost the spark of life:
When covid rolled around I get heavy on the weed. Essentially frying my brain for 8 months before one day I pretty much had a panic attack where I passed out. Ever since then I feel like the curiosity and sense of adventure I had at my healthiest points has just vanished in to thin air.
Read the part of my waffle about its diuretic/natriuretic effect. I (think I) know the feeling you describe.
Try an experiment, "thicken up". Reduce any free water you're drinking down to a bare minimum of tongue sized sips, at least a little on top of meals, maybe a little in between. Pack in as many dense, "solid" calories as you can in three feeding windows. Salt your food. Eat over and above your hunger. While your renal function responds, forgive issues with cognitive fog, somnolence and flatter moods.
Any other drinks, thicken them up even more with a teaspoon of sugar and a tiny pinch of salt. A 500mg taurine and 200mg caffeine supplement could speed up your bounce but they're optional (and cheap ofc).
Give it four days and three sleeps. Check yourself. Come back and rubbish or confirm it. If there's restoration of your drive with a hint of aggression, just add (back more) water.
Wishing you well man.
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@Peatful said in Lost the spark of life:
After COVID
We SHOULD be differentIf one is not
One is not paying attentionShe's still right about this.
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I'm in the same boat but I can't tell if it's physiological or just a matter of life circumstances.
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@ThinPicking said in Lost the spark of life:
Try an experiment, "thicken up". Reduce any free water you're drinking down to a bare minimum of tongue sized sips, at least a little on top of meals, maybe a little in between. Pack in as many dense, "solid" calories as you can in three feeding windows. Salt your food. Eat over and above your hunger. While your renal function responds, forgive issues with cognitive fog, somnolence and flatter moods.
Any other drinks, thicken them up even more with a teaspoon of sugar and a tiny pinch of salt. A 500mg taurine and 200mg caffeine supplement could speed up your bounce but they're optional (and cheap ofc).
I want to try this.
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By all means, give it a go. Nothing to lose from a comfortable enough baseline.
I've moved fluid balance a lot on purpose and found circulatory/renal function to fall in to patterns around my behaviour. Escaping one pattern in to another just involves resisting some compulsions/senses that accompany them. And they feel quite distinct.
Probably sounds a bit woo in conversation without a write up and citation. In many ways I think Ray already said it, I'd just put it differently. If energy and structure are interdependent, what is structure, it's flow, formation and dissolution. Even bone has a high water content and colloid-like structure. And how do narcotic (like cannabis) or other insults disrupt it. A lot can be said.
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I'll also just add that taurine's osmotic properties are quite well documented and understood. But I don't see it mentioned of caffeine much. Obviously those supplements help with the interim/adjustment in cognition and senses, but that's probably not all...
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@bigdeuce said in Lost the spark of life:
before covid I had a girlfriend who broke my heart into thinking I’d never love someone the way I loved her again. When covid rolled around I get heavy on the weed. Essentially frying my brain for 8 months before one day I pretty much had a panic attack where I passed out. Ever since then I feel like the curiosity and sense of adventure I had at my healthiest points has just vanished in to thin air.
sounds like a serotonergic state (numbness, apathy, dissociation, feeling "closed in" etc) , did you put an end to the weed after that? do you have heart problems or blood flow issues? how is your sleep do you dream excessively & intense (if no longer on weed)? whats your temperature under the tongue 1hr after eating? and is your salt intake low (detrimentally low?)?
do you feel this , at decent volume
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWxbhC44p2w"Self-organizing systems decay only if they have assimilated inertia, and — with a little support of the right kind— the centers of degeneration can become centers of regeneration."
"world," as a source of new perceptions
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@cs3000 said in Lost the spark of life:
do you feel this , at decent volume
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWxbhC44p2wExcellent test cs. Legit.
And if not that vibe they'll have another. Everyone does. Effect they elicit may as well be body temperature or a blood test.
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@ThinPicking said in Lost the spark of life:
I've moved fluid balance a lot on purpose
Okay so this is what it does exactly.
So should I drink as minimal amounts of liquid as possible?
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hey man, if you are listening to music with "lyrics" in it i suggest you stop and for some time only listen to electronic & classical music instead. put on some good classic hardstyle and you will feel the spark of life.
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@cs3000 no heart problems, circulation isn’t great and limbs fall asleep when I sit down to poop or lay on them weird. Dreams happen but rarely are good. Sometimes they aren’t even nightmares they’re just weird, cryptic and evoke a sense of general confusion. Been off of weed for good for 6 months, before that I had taken several month breaks but also had t completely quit it. I’m done with it now it doesn’t even make me feel euphoric, just paranoid and weak
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Need some more context. Any other physical symptoms? Are you participating in activities that you enjoy?
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It is a physical health issue. I would reccomend being active in the sun. Most people sit too much. Inactivity is the killer.
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