Hating everything everywhere all at once
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@peatlegal Sadly not...but there is an university cursus that would allow me to study and learn Japanese. It's 1 300 euros though, so I would need to work to be able to join this class. Good reason to try harder to find a job...
Thanks for the info on Progesterone ! I'll try to buy some when I get the money, since I suppose I'll have to pay a crazy tax fee to pay customs...
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Went for a walk to the library today. It felt good to walk, but I grew more and more depressed as I kept walking. Trash everywhere, poor people everywhere, sub-humans everywhere, closed shops everywhere. Kind of forgot about it when I started reading.
I felt like I was about to cry when I was nearing home. No future, no opportunities, constant poverty. I still want to annihilate everything, but I also want to fight for a just cause. Sadly, there's no such thing where I live. Ray's works on learned helplessness bogled my mind. I don't want to just die, I want to fight.
It feels like I've been fighting for my own life all this time. All this effort can't be in vain...
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@IkeIkeforever said in Hating everything everywhere all at once:
I've also been listening to lots of negative and harsh music in the past month.
Hardcore, Deathcore, or albums like "Abandon all life" by Nails.Listening to one joy division song in the morning can put me in a bad mood for the whole day.
I prescribe you a minimum of 5 listens per day to Pharrell Williams' classic, "Happy," for the next 2 weeks.
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@IkeIkeforever Hm. I don't know what to tell you. I think you need some kind of Work in your life (easier said than done). Not necessarily a formal job but something productive that you're intentionally doing and are good at. You can't build a good life out of solipsistic observation of others, "Catcher in the Rye" style. You will find no hidden secrets at the public library. It would be best to drop that whole flaneur thing for a while and get down to work.
