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@yerrag said in Why is raypeatforum so touchy about the topic of looks, becoming more attractive, and height?:
When you say you avoid being with narcissists, were you saying there is no judgment on your part?
I don't judge them in terms of right or wrong. I just think it's harmful for me to be near them. So I do judge whether or not it's beneficial for me to be around them.
Hope to see more agreement as we share ideas on bioenergetics
I agree, that would be nice
@yerrag said in Why is raypeatforum so touchy about the topic of looks, becoming more attractive, and height?:
Please best in mind I was speaking mostly against being narcissistic. And if you feel that being narcissistic is fine, then we cannot have a meeting of the mind.
I don't like narcissists but I don't judge them (in terms of right and wrong) for being narcissistic. There are reasons for why they are the way they are and they couldn't at that moment be any other way. If I know a person is a narcissist I would avoid them because being near them is likely to be harmful to me.
And while I cannot deny that being attractive has its advantages, you speak as if that is the only gateway to success.
Depending on what you want improving your appearance can be really beneficial or pointless. Perhaps even a hindrance as you say but I don't think this is the case for most people. You'll have to see for your self what you really want in life and then decide if it's worth improving your appearance or not.
what have you done about it from a personal success standpoint? Have you grown an inch taller of a foot taller? Has your jaws become much more prominent in a significant way? Has your facial structure and appearance undergone a change that made you so handsome beyond recognition to a fault by your efforts.
I already have good facial structure but not perfect so there's still room for improvement. I'm not currently doing anything about it. I have grown around an inch taller but I didn't put any effort into growing taller. My growth plates seem to still be open.
It is a different story when what you seek to attain is within the realm of realistic, to such extent that you are not obsessed with achieving the impossible.
If something is impossible then there's obviously no point in trying to achieve it. However what is imagined to be impossible is not necessarily impossible. Depending on how important something is to you, you might want to try to achieve it even if there's only a small chance. It would be beneficial to work towards a vision without hurry and enjoy the journey without being too attached to the outcome.
people not blessed with the genes to be models. If you're not so blessed, why bother
I find it likely that model-like appearance isn't prevented by genes in most cases. Rather it has more to do with environmental influences. In a perfect environment everyone will look great but still different from each other. I recommend watching videos on the youtube channel "Orthotropics" for more info on facial development.
Younger people are better able to change their appearance. If you're really old then attempting to greatly change your facial structure might be futile but some change can still be made. This is why it's a good idea to focus more on appearance when young if attractiveness or the things attractiveness positively affects are important you you.
Why not be more realistic and assess where your strength, and edge, lies? Why not develop them? Spend more of your time on pursuits that will reward you because you have that gift or talent? That way, you will be more fulfilled, hsppy, and self-respecting, and you can be more secure. And be in s better position to share your hsppiness with someone you care for. It is for me, a nobler pursuit.
If, let's say, painting was my passion but I'm talented in mathematics I think I would focus on improving my painting instead of mathematics. Doing what you're good at while avoiding your passion is not going to lead to the best possible life and can lead to an unhappy life. However if you're too attached to the outcome (in this case perhaps becoming a well known painter) and fail at doing so you might feel deep regret and wish you just did what you were good at. This is why holding everything with an open hand and enjoying the journey is important
@yerrag In my early teens I used to have similar opinions as you do about appearance and about people who are focused on improving their appearance however my opinions have changed over time. A person looking to become more beautiful isn't necessarily shallow and can be very interested in becoming a better person by improving mental and spiritual aspects of themselves too. Wanting to become more attractive isn't always caused by insecurities either. I know this from my own experience.
There are benefits to being attractive. Being generally attractive improves your chances of getting a job, having taller can help in some sports, and improving facial structure also improves airways and thus health. These are only few of the benefits. Some aspects of appearance such as bone structure are more difficult to improve when older so focusing on them when still young makes sense as long as you don't completely neglect other important things.
If something has happened it means it couldn't have happened any other way. This is understood when you keep in mind that every effect has a cause. So why judge anyone? By judging others you're allowing yourself to be judged by your own subconscious.
@noodlecat59 said in A super interesting case of high testosterone levels.:
@Norwegian-Mugabe being able to bond with peers is a sign of high intelligence. being unable to bond with peers is autism.
A ~11-minute video about intelligence, socialization, and communication:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8uWAEnlCl4
In short and in relation to your reply:
People with very high IQs can find it difficult to form meaningful relationships because they perceive the world very differently from people with an average IQ. They also won't be able to freely communicate their ideas and perceptions because people with an average IQ often would not be able to keep up with it.
I recommend watching the whole video for more details and a better understanding of the subject
My OCD improved by ~20% after ~2 weeks of strictly avoiding PUFAs. I haven't noticed a reduction in obsessive thoughts but my anxiety related to them decreased and therefore I'm better able to avoid doing the compulsions/rituals. If I eat more PUFAs within a day or two then my symptoms worsen again. 2 or 3 days of strictly avoiding PUFAs after eating them for 1 or 2 days is enough to reduce my symptoms back to what they were like before eating more PUFAs. By strictly avoiding PUFAs I mean avoiding anything with more than 1% of their calories coming from PUFAs with the exception of chocolate
@Norwegian-Mugabe There might be reasons other than contrarianism but mental wellbeing certainly isn't one of them as evidenced by your reaction. Doomerzoomer didn't mean you specifically but the modern far-right people in general (I assume at least) so saying they're wrong because you have a different reason isn't valid. And they are not wrong. Whenever something is mainstream there will be a group of people who will oppose it regardless of whether or not it's actually right. This has happened throughout history.
You say physiognomical reasons. Could you elaborate? I searched for the definition of it and apparently it's "the art of judging human character from facial features" and/or "divination based on facial features". According to these definitions it's about figuring out what a person is like and not about the reason for the person being the way they are.